


Keep Him Ishi-nocent!!

by Ultimate_Impostor



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: ....And (Very) Dickhard Oowada, Amgery Oowada, Fluff and Crack, Fuckin Clueless Taka, High School AU, Leon and Hiro are assholes, Lots of swearing (Not surprising tbh), M/M, Nothing explicit, One Shot, The Author Regrets Nothing, no smut... yet, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:34:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27452803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultimate_Impostor/pseuds/Ultimate_Impostor
Summary: “Leon.. Hiro.. please, from the bottom of my heart, I beg you to STAY AWAY FROM MY FUCKING SHIT YOU FUCKS!!!”Mondo swear he’s going to kick Leon’s and Hiro’s ass. Multiple bodies were about to be fucking discovered.
Relationships: Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo
Comments: 15
Kudos: 111





	Keep Him Ishi-nocent!!

**Author's Note:**

> Please sir, I did not abandoned my other work I promise!
> 
> I had this work on my notes for who knows how long. Its threatening aura haunts me every night. I have no choice. I just- I NEED to publish this as soon as possible.
> 
> Enjoy! ^-^

\-------—————

At first, Mondo though it was just an accident.

The first time it happened, maybe around a week or so. Taka, his boyfriend, came up to him during lunch time. For what purpose? To eat lunch together, of course. Just like any other day.

But that time, however, when Mondo was busy munching on the tuna sandwich Taka made for him while lovingly stare at the said sandwich maker....

Something he least expected happened.

“Kyoudai, I want to give you blowjob!”

Mondo _CHOKED_ on his tuna bits. **_Hard_.**

He aggressively tries to decrease his coughing fit. Taka, motherly as he always been, worried sick on the spot. He helped Mondo by smacking his back repeatedly to ensure Mondo had thrown up whatever he had on his throat. Mondo’s ears can’t help but to be red.

And the fact that the WHOLE students in the cafeteria turns to them, making his ears even redder.

AND the fact that Taka called him ‘ ** _KYOUDAI_** ’ of all things, just makes it 1000x more awkward.

But he shrugged it off. At first. Taka sometimes can’t keep his noise down and seem to not know the right timing for certain things, sure. But that’s not something Mondo can’t handle.

The biker gang leader dragged the prefect away from the cafeteria. Excitement was written all over his face. I mean, who was he to refuse such a blessing offer?

But, once again, something he least expected happened.

“Taka. Babe. Ya sure ‘bout this?”

Taka blinked. “Uh.. why, yes! I am perfectly sure!”

“But.. didn’t ya mention that yer not comfortable with this sorta thing yet?” As eager as he may is, Mondo still care about his bf yo.

“Eh? Why would I be uncomfortable? We have already done it hundred times, Mondo!”

Wait, something's not right..

“.... what?”

Taka puts his hands on his hips. Thicc eyebrows furrowed even lower. “Don’t tell me you have forgotten! After all this time we spent for studying, taking notes, the way I explained it all to you.. Did you seriously didn’t recall any of it?!”

Mondo open and closes his mouth like a damn dying fish. Shit they draw the attention again, oh well.

“Taka, hold on. Just what do ya think that means?”

“What means?!”

“Blowjob! What’s that mean?!” He can’t believe he said that out loud.

Taka looks at him like he’s the dumbest person on earth. “I can not believe that you don’t understand the concept, kyoudai. But oh well, allow me to educate you!”

“Yeah yeah whatever just out with it!”

“Okay! So, to put it simply, blowjob is a verb that’s referring to someone who teaches other person about academics until they receive a good path to the future!!! I was such a fault to only realize that word exist just now! It is cool if I do say so myself, don’t you agree, Mondo?” Taka smiles brightly at him.

But Mondo was too busy dumbfounded by what Taka just said. Did.. did he just fuckin-

“So what do you say, kyoudai? Ready for the blowjob I about to give you after school?—“

Sweating, Mondo puts his palms around Taka's cheeks. “Stop. Don’t fu—flippin’ use that word to describe our study sesh ever again, yeah?”

Taka rest his palm on top of Mondo’s “Why not? It’s a nice—“

“Just. No. Got it? Never _EVER_ bring that up again.”

Taka stare at him worriedly. Maybe Mondo doesn’t like how it sounds? “O-Okay! If you say so..” Taka smiles.

Mondo sighed. “Right.. so how did you know that word anyway?”

“O-oh.. about that, I heard Kuwata-kun and Hagakure-kun discussing it! And they even told me to let me know! They’re also the one who suggest me to give you one! Such great friends indeed!” Taka clapped his hands excitedly.

“... _great friends_.. huh.. sure..” Mondo’s knuckles went wide from how hard he's holding back his thirst of murdering the _HELL_ out of those-- 

“Mondo? What’s wrong bro?”

“Ah nothin’ nothin’ don’t worry bout me.”

Taka nodded cheerfully. “If that is the case, then I shall head back! Class will start in 15 minutes and I can’t afford to be late and you should too, bro! See you after school!” 

Without anymore words, Taka simply waved and speed walking to you know where. Mondo smile as a respond.

But his (tiny) smile quickly turns into a full blown frown. He grits his teeth upon remembering Taka’s words.

_Fucking Leon.. Fucking Hiro.. and their fucking pathetic ways of fucking trying to fucking mess with Mondo fucking Oowada and his fucking boyfriend._

_Damn, how many fucking times did I say ‘fucking’ already? Dear fucking god, I swear I’m gonna fucking find them._

Mondo search for the two trouble makers around the school. But to no luck. He didn’t even spot Hiro’s ginormous hair.

But he thought to himself. Maybe they didn’t mean it somehow? Maybe the whole ordeal just now was.. unintentional?

Yeah, they probably didn’t mean it. They know better than to mess with Taka. And it’s probably one time thing, right?

\--------------

The second time that happened, it was.... rather unique. But made Mondo’s blood boil nonetheless.

This time, Mondo was sitting in a library— it’s not like he volunteered himself to be here and library wasn’t his strong suit anyway, buuut he had a boyfriend and he wants to make him proud, ok? — while waiting for Taka to arrive.

It’s not the fact that the prefect was late, but Mondo was already here way before the time they agreed on. They already decided that they’ll be studying math, or chemistry? Or maybe physics? He wasn't sure he never pay attention on these subjects.

Just as he thought, seconds after the clock hit 3 p.m, Taka came through the door. He spots Mondo immediately, and goes straight at him with a wide smile in tow.

_Aaah.. literal angel. So soft.. must protecc!_

“.. ndo? Mondo?! Earth to Mondo!” Taka waved his arm in front of Mondo’s face. Mondo shook himself from his daydream.

“S’rry i got lost in thinkin’ stuff.” Mondo rest his chin onto his palm.

“Ah, well Kyoudai! Please do pay attention! Because I have something to show you!” Taka couldn't contain his eagerness.

“Somethin’?”

Taka nodded. Smiling. “Kuwata-kun and Hagakure-kun gave it to me the other day and I’m so very thankful for the thing they gave me! I want to share it to you too!”

_Leon and Hiro again...?_

Well, if Taka’s happy, surely there’s nothing wrong right?

Taka’s happiness is where Mondo’s soft spot is. So what kind of asshole he is to destroy the thing he whipped for? I mean, there’s no harm with a little gift.

So, Mondo smiled. Guess they aren’t that bad, after all.

“Hold yer horses will ya? Just what’s this ‘somethin’ that got ya so exited?”

“It’s a book! And I think I would find it very useful for us and our future! Hold on let me get it..” Taka joyfully shoved his hand inside his bag.

“K... what’s it about?”

“It’s about how to strengthen a bond! Only if I can find it...” Taka carefully take his books out of the bag, one by one, until he stopped at the sight of a certain book.

“Aha! Here it is! This will teach us about bonding thus making our bonds closer!” Taka beamed happily, raising the book right in front of Mondo.

Mondo chuckled. He raised his head. “Aight’ bro.. don’t know why we need that book, but—“

Mondo’s face to face with the said book. Like this, he could clearly see the book title. Mockingly staring back at his soul.

**_Bondage for Beginners_ **

“Grhk!”

Taka blinked. “.. Bro? What’s wrong?”

With an angry flush, Mondo snatched the book in front of him and—

**RRRRIIPP!!!!**

Taka’s eyes widen in shock at what he just witness. Mondo.. he ripped the book in half!!!! 

And he looks so angry!

“MONDO WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!?!”

“Taka look—“

“DESTROYING SOMEONE ELSE’S PROPERTY WAS NOT TOLERATED! AND THAT BOOK IS VERY IMPORTANT TO US!!! W-Why you...” Taka’s ruby eyes watered.

_Oh shit._

Mondo quickly pulled Taka into his strong embrace. Hands on Taka’s nape and waist to keep him in place.

“Taka, listen! M’ sorry ok?! I g-guess I was caught off guard and.. fucked the book real bad..”

“...” Taka sniffed got muffled by his chest. “Language..”

Mondo rolled his eyes. “N’ ‘sides.. we don’t need that stupid book anyway!”

Taka raise his head. “.. What do you mean?”

“I-I mean.. we already bonded yeah? Our bonds were inseparable! We ain’t need no book to ‘strengthen our bond’ no more! ‘Cause we already had the ultimate bonding, bro!”

Taka sniffed. Mondo sweats.

“I-I see..” Taka shyly wrapped his arms around Mondo as well. “I apologize for my outburst kyoudai.. I was being unreasonable..”

“Nah, s’ fine. _The damn book wasn’t ‘bout bonding anyway.._ ” Mondo muttered to himself.

“Eh? It was not? But the title clearly said ‘bondage’ though?” Taka tilt his head, confused.

Of fucking course Taka’s gonna hear that shit.

“N-no it’s definitely not.. it’s about.. _other_ kinds of bonding..” Mondo winced to himself.

“Other bonding? Which is?”

Mondo darted his eyes. “It’s for uh.. _sexual activities_.”

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKK?!?! 0///////0 “

“THIS IS A GOD DAMN LIBRARY YOU HORNY SHIT NUGGETS! GET LOST!!” The old man behind the desk screamed his lungs out. Making a freaked out Taka even more hysteric.

Mondo swear he’s going to kick Leon’s and Hiro’s ass. Multiple bodies were about to be fucking discovered.

But thankfully, the lack of finding those two pesky shits were able to hold him from committing homicide.

Mondo knows those two were ganging up on something. And that is..

**_'THEY’RE TRYING TO TAINT MY PURE ISHI!'_ **

\------------

The third time it happened, the most recent of the three, were enough for Mondo to lose his shit.

And it was started with a good day, too. Taka’s consent enough to give him a peck on his cheek this morning. Making Mondo all but giddy the entire day.

But of course, happy hours must come to an end. You got me fucked up if the world just let him have a wonderful day. No sire.

It’s when they had a gym class. PE is the last subject they had before they call it a day. 

At first, Mondo wasn’t thinking any ambiguous possibilities that might happen to him. Because he’s too preoccupied within two (2) things :

1\. He can probably meet the obnoxious duo since they finally had a class (PE) together. Now he’s just gotta scan his sharp eyes through the whole room to spot them. Then he can do his... unfinished business.

2\. Freakin’ clueless Taka with how cluelessly dummy thicc he is, walking around with that tight ass gym shorts— seriously that should be illegal— Going round a round with that round ass Making his mind go mMMM DAT CHEEKS BOI-

Mondo can’t help but felt hot and _buttered._

(I regret nothing)

“Mondo Oowada!”

Mondo instantly got snatched from his (Not so family friendly) day dreaming state. Taka stands proudly in front of his sitting position. Eyebrows furrowed. “Oh, hey Taka.”

“What’s gotten into you? Did you, perhaps, day dreaming again? Were you not listening to the teacher had said just now???”

Mondo sighed. With a weak attempt to not lower his gaze below Taka’s hips. “Yeah, s’rry. Thinkin’ stuff that can’t get off my damn mind s’ all.”

Taka’s eyebrows falls into something that shows concern. “Is everything alright, kyoudai? Are you feeling sick? Is there something bothering you?”

Mondo dismissed him “Nah m’ fine. Nothin’ too serious. Don’t worry ‘bout it.”

“No! Clearly there’s something bothering you so hard to the point you can’t even focus on the task at hand! I shall do something to make you feel better!”

Mondo’s taken aback on what Taka just said. “N-no, bro.. ya really don’t hafta—“

Taka suddenly turns his back to him and slumped himself down on Mondo’s lap with no difficulties.

W-what?

**_WAIT HOL’ UP—_ **

“T-TAKA?!” Mondo doesn’t dare to move an inch. Or else he’ll....

Taka just turns his head. Smiling sweetly. Like he’s totally oblivious about Mondo’s screech.

“Are you feeling better yet, Mondo? Or should I reposition myself so I can face to face with you?”

Massive blush creped up to Mondo’s face. “N-NO THAT’S NOT-“

“Okay.. if you say so.” Taka nodded knowingly (Boi like you know ANY SHIT—) and proceeds to lay back so his back was resting on Mondo’s chest. He brought Mondo’s arms to his navel, caging himself.

_Shit shit son of a gently caress what the fuck happened what the hell am I s’pose to do oh god think of something think of something- Yamada with his swimsuit— OH GOD I FUCKIN’ REGRET_

“Ah, kyoudai! Before I forget, there’s something that’s been on my mind for quite awhile, and I want to say it to you in hoping we could do the thing that I want to say, someday.”

Mondo starts sweating. Visibly holding himself.

And as if that moment can’t get any more worse..

“I want you to raw me, bro!”

**_WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK?!_ **

Mondo hardly functions at this point. He can literally hear his own blood boilin’ hot. It rushes to his whole face, ears, and _other specific part_

“Eh? What’s wrong, bro? You look so hot!” Ignoring his poor choice of words, Taka slightly shift on his lap so he could place his hand to Mondo’s forehead.

_Don’t fucking move— Fuck I pop a boner shit shit shit shit shit—_

Aaaand there goes lil’ Mondo. Fantastic.

And Taka probably felt it too. Since he became flustered all the sudden. “M-Mondo is that—“

Mondo gripped his waist, and slowly pushed him aside, sitting him on the bench next to him. While he shamefully hide his hard wood with the hem of his shirt.

“....”

Taka teared up. “Oh my gosh.. I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t ask you to raw me while you’re having a sexual needs—“

“Taka.”

“Y-yes?”

“Why did you do that?”

“Ah, well...” Taka shies away. “I was trying to cheer you up and make things better! I heard you love it when I sat on you and I was told that was the efficient way to make you feel satisfied and loved!” Taka let out his best smile.

This. This right here, officer. Was the one that made Mondo Oowada experienced an emotion that doesn’t exist.

"Taka.. You do realize that was considered as PDA right?"

Taka nervously averted his gaze. "I am aware of that, yes. And I should give myself a detention for that! But.. you just.. looked so distressed, Mondo. I just want to make you happy." Taka smiles softly.

God damn it how can he be upset when his boyfriend is the literal king of cheese? when his boyfriend is so fucking ADORABLE?!!

"Listen, babe. With you being here was enough to make me happy. Hell I even be the happiest and luckiest person on this fuckin planet!" Taka's smile got even wider. God, those fuckers just HAD the audacity to mess with this whole thing.

“What about the ‘raw’ thing?” Mondo added. Eye twitching.

Taka perks up. “It’s an acronym! It stands for ‘going home together using motorcycle while peacefully road down the neighborhood’! It is so wholesome! I can’t wait to experienced that with you! But I guess I was being too straight forward?”

Mondo cries internally.

“Taka.”

“Yes, Mondo?” Taka can’t help but slightly felt intimidated on how cold Mondo’s tone is.

“You learnt all of that from Leon and Hiro, didn’t you?”

Not wanting to upset Mondo further, Taka didn’t have a choice but to answer honestly. “Indeed! They are the ones who taught me these wonderful lessons! I’m getting more and more understand about catchphrase nowadays!”

He vividly heard something.. like a laugh. Two laughs actually. Wait no, more like Wheezes, like those people were about to die a horrible death.

And that’s exactly what Mondo had in mind.

There, in the corner of the gym, were Hiro and Leon. Both dying of laughter. So much even Hiro’s smacking the ground, and Leon smacking... Hiro.

Mondo tries ultimately hard to control his voice. “Babe.. Sorry for worrying you. I'm just hungry, would you mind making me a sandwich? I’ll feel better once my stomach isn’t empty. Then I’ll be waiting for you in front of the school. We’re going to ride on my baby and go around the neighborhood just like you wanted, o-okay??” His voice did crack in the end, though.

Taka _beamed_ at that. He nods eagerly. “You’re hungry bro?! Why didn’t you say so?! Don’t worry, I will feed that empty stomach of yours! Also I can’t wait on our journey after school!! Love you!”

"L-Love you too."

Before Taka runs off, he still got one (1) thing to say :

“Fist me first, bro!”

“ ** _WHAT?!”_**

Taka awkwardly hold his fist up for a fist bump.

“O-oh ok.. fuck, yeah.. ‘course that’s what you mean.. aight..” Mondo groggily fist bumped Taka, much to Taka’s pleasure.

Aaand he’s off. Luckily PE is over. But you know what isn’t over yet? Kicking their asses.

Mondo don’t waste any more time. He rage sprint towards them at alarming speed. Catching the laughing duo off guard.

Feral individuals were about to be at one spot. War seeks through the slightest gap of ones pores.

From this point of time, the scene was censored due to enroll a family friendly content. But all you could hear is the line that goes :

“What’s going on, bRo?! Why wouldn’t you RAW me BrO?!” - Leon

“What’s that, broo? I just want to give you BlOwJoB so we can BoNd ClOsEr but You got thicc bone over there???” - Hiro

“Leon.. Hiro.. please, from the bottom of my heart, I beg you to STAY AWAY FROM MY FUCKING SHIT YOU FUCKS!!!”

“We were just helping you get laid, man!” - Hiro

“Yeah, no shit! If anything you should be thankful! We were just trying to help!” - Leon

“YOU DID’T HELP ANY SHIT! YA BITCHES TRYNA RUIN MY CINAMON ROLL!”

“Haha WHIPPED” - Leon

“No lie, his lack of knowledge about these topics is astounding! OUCH- MY HAIIIR!” - Hiro

“Sure fuckin’ is! He even falls for my ‘Ligma’ joke HAHAHAH— ACK NOT MY GOATTEE!!!” - Leon

“YOU FUCKERS ARE JUST JEALOUS YOU DON’T HAVE AN ASS TO GRAB!! AND MAY GOD HAD MERCY ON YOU CAUSE I SURE AS HELL WON’T!”

And thus, the biggest, most awful, most tragic event in the human history had taken place.

But hey, at least he got a motorcycle date with his precious boyfriend. Though he had to avoid all kinds of questions on why Leon and Hiro somehow got taken to the hospital.

At least Taka is happy. So much that even the next day he proudly yelled to the whole class :

“Mondo do me raw yesterday!!!”

Ah fuck, he forgot to tell him, didn’t he?

END

I mean, that’s what Mondo hoped for.

But no, not yet.

“ÚwÙ what’s dis?”

Mondo stares at Taka in horror. Jaw dropped. Apple juice abandoned. “What the hell happened to you?”

“∑(ﾟДﾟ) language! ÒwÓ”

“WHAT IN THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAID????” Tears run down on Mondo’s cheek.

“(´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)!!”

Mondo jingles across the floor miserably. Weeping.

**_CHIHIRO_ _FUCKIN’ FUJISAKIIIIIIII!!!!_**

END (FOR REAL THIS TIME)

**Author's Note:**

> Oh hey you manage to reach it this far, congratulations! I had no idea what did I just create.
> 
> See you on another chapter of my other work.. I guess??


End file.
